Starstruck dude: You’re Jon Lovitz!
Jon Lovitz: Jealous?
–Greenwich Village
Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category
Make Your Bed or I'll Bus' a Cap
Mark Wahlberg: When my daughter is 10 and 11, and especially in the teenage years, I want to be there with a gun. It’s not mess-around time.
–http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/r_m/index.html
The Most Pretentious Sentence Ever
Quentin Tarantino: I’ve always had a thought maybe that I might have been Shakespeare in another life. I don’t really believe that 100%, and I don’t really care about Shakespeare, I’ve never been into Shakespeare, but then people are constantly bringing up all of these qualities in my work that mirror Shakespearean tragedies and moments and themes.
–GQ
With a Faint Tinge Of Ben Affleck
Female audience member: Mr. Colbert, have you been fucking Matt Damon?
Stephen Colbert: Why? Did his dick taste like me?
–Studio, The Colbert Report
Overheard by: Cynthia
This Headline Has A Link
Cameron Diaz: I’ve been noticing gravity since I was very young.
Inking Is Overrated
Drew Barrymore: I wish I was an octopus so I could hug ten people at a time!
–http://thinkexist.com/quotation/oh-i_love_hugging-i_wish_i_was_an_octopus-so_i/203717.html
Overheard by: You mean a squid?
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Way to Clear That Up
Dan Quayle: It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
My Vagina Was Built for Pyrotechnics, Baby
Pamela Anderson: I want an explosive love affair again.
–http://showbiz.sky.com/showbiz/article/0,,50001-1254993,00.html
Why I Got Kicked Out of Preschool
Interviewer: Why did you choose to star in the soft porn cult classic Caligula, in which you danced in a cone bra?
Helen Mirren: It was an irresistible mix of art and genitals.
–http://www.aarpmagazine.org/entertainment/helen_mirren.html