Interviewer: Why did you choose to star in the soft porn cult classic Caligula, in which you danced in a cone bra?
Helen Mirren: It was an irresistible mix of art and genitals.

–http://www.aarpmagazine.org/entertainment/helen_mirren.html

P. Diddy on formal rival Snoop Dogg: We ain’t no gangsters. We are men first.

–http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/03/10/2007-03-10_diddy_snoop_bury_the_tec9-1.html

Britney Spears: I performed at Mom and Dad’s party when I was four. Oh my gosh, I was singing a Madonna song, and I peed myself.

Overheard by: licketysplit

Sanjaya Malakar, on why he was voted off American Idol: Honestly, I’m not a country singer.

–http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1557614/20070419/id_0.jhtml

Overheard by: e

Victoria Beckham: I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion. He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!

–www.perezhilton.com

Overheard by: Melissa

Patti LaBelle, to Jennifer Hudson: I didn’t know you were this nice. I thought you were a bitch.

–http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/bwiddicombe/2007/03/28/2007-03-28_anna_nicoles_unlikely_pitch.html

Starstruck dude: You’re Jon Lovitz!
Jon Lovitz: Jealous?

–Greenwich Village

Mark Wahlberg: When my daughter is 10 and 11, and especially in the teenage years, I want to be there with a gun. It’s not mess-around time.

–http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/r_m/index.html

Quentin Tarantino: I’ve always had a thought maybe that I might have been Shakespeare in another life. I don’t really believe that 100%, and I don’t really care about Shakespeare, I’ve never been into Shakespeare, but then people are constantly bringing up all of these qualities in my work that mirror Shakespearean tragedies and moments and themes.

–GQ

Female audience member: Mr. Colbert, have you been fucking Matt Damon?
Stephen Colbert: Why? Did his dick taste like me?

–Studio, The Colbert Report

Overheard by: Cynthia