Christina Aguilera: So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?
R. Kelly: My greatest competition is, well, me. I’m the Ali of today. I’m the Marvin Gaye of today. I’m the Bob Marley of today. I’m the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us, and a lot of people are starting to realize that now.
Jessica Alba: I always felt like I was born into the wrong family. I didn’t feel I belonged, and I felt that I should have been royal, and nobody knew that except me.
Anna Kournikova: I’m like an expensive menu — you can look but you can’t afford!
Overheard by: i <3 colbert!
Jordan, British model: I’m even thinking of having my vagina tightened. After having three kids, I’d really notice the difference. By the time I’m finished, I’ll be like a nun!
Overheard by: i do kegels
Paris Hilton: I want kids next year, so I’ve got to get my body ready.
Keith Richards: The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared.
Overheard by: tatiana
Beyoncé Knowles: I’d done a couple of sitcoms earlier on, but I wasn’t very good in them, so I thought that meant I couldn’t act.
Overheard by: Tami
Helena Bonham Carter: Daniel [Radcliffe] has such balls, he really does. In every way. Good on him. I can’t think of something to make one more vulnerable than being 17, a male, having to strip off and do such a hard piece… Psychologically.
Dan Quayle: It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.