Archive for 2021

Except for the Knives… But They Fall Off

Jerry Seinfeld: Bees have the only perfect society on Earth. They have no crime, they have no drugs, they have no rape… A little rape, but it’s not that bad.

–http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/r_m/2007/06/21/2007–06-21_jerry_does_some_hive_talkin.html

My Bulge Is Showing

Pamela Anderson: When we were at the Playboy mansion my children said, ‘Do you know Uncle Hef takes pictures of naked girls?’ I said, ‘Oh my god, let’s get out of here!’

–http://www.contactmusic.com/news.nsf/article/the%20things%20they%20say%204230_1024263

Dude, Stop Doing Drugs

Sly Stallone: The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can’t change. After I die, I’ll probably come back as a paintbrush.

Overheard by: whipper stripper

Same with Ninety-One-Year Olds

Johnny Depp: When kids hit one year old, it’s like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit…

Overheard by: testify