Archive for 2021

I’m Like Her­pes, Ba­by

Paul Mc­Cart­ney on phone to [ex-]wife: I just can’t wait un­til I nev­er have to see your face again!
Heather Mills: You’ll nev­er get rid of me!


Even If They Do Match My Tits

Vic­to­ria Beck­ham, on join­ing a gym: What do you wear on the run­ning ma­chine? I can’t bring my­self to wear flat shoes.


I Go for the Lat­te and Pussy Buf­fets

Si­mon Cow­ell: It’s very fash­ion­able to be in re­hab.


And Mom­my Needs Work!

Kate Beck­in­sale: This is what’s sick about liv­ing in LA — my eight-year-old daugh­ter will point to a woman and say, ‘Look! That wom­an’s had too much botox.’


And I Bought Eleven­teen

Brooke Shields: I’m so naive about fi­nances. Once, when my moth­er men­tioned an amount and I re­al­ized that I did­n’t un­der­stand, she had to ex­plain, ‘That’s like three Mer­cedes.’ Then I un­der­stood.