.… What?

Sean Penn: My favorite thing to do is not act — it’s that simple.

Overheard by: Gramps

Dude, That’s Your Tail

Enrique Iglesias: I’d change my penis if I could. It’s way, way, way too small.

–http://perezhilton.com/topics/guess_the_celebrity/guess_the_celeb_20070521.php

I Don’t Smoke; I Just Don’t Breathe As Much As I’d Like to

Linda Evangelista: I don’t diet; I just don’t eat as much as I’d like to.

–http://www.funnypictures.tv/html/jokes/quotes/stupid-quotes/2006–04-18/stupid-quotes_1145339309d102189.html

Tastes Like Moonshine

David Hasselhoff: I’ve got taste. It’s inbred in me.

But I Am Willing to Be a Martyr for My Own Self-righteousness

Kelly Clarkson: My point of view is that I shouldn’t be a mother at all, because I’d be horrible. I’m not willing to be that selfless.

–http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBIZ/Music/06/12/people.kellyclarkson.ap/index.html

Or Married to Tom Cruise

Nicole Kidman: You’re not anyone in America unless you’re on TV.

Overheard by: Stella

Because Stretch Marks Are Like Blueprints to the Soul

Celine Dion: I wish we were all naked all the time. I have always believed it’s what’s underneath that counts. If we were all forced to be naked, perhaps we would start to see it a little bit more.