Female audience member: Mr. Colbert, have you been fucking Matt Damon?
Stephen Colbert: Why? Did his dick taste like me?

–Studio, The Colbert Report

Overheard by: Cynthia

Cameron Diaz: I’ve been noticing gravity since I was very young.

Drew Barrymore: I wish I was an octopus so I could hug ten people at a time!

–http://thinkexist.com/quotation/oh-i_love_hugging-i_wish_i_was_an_octopus-so_i/203717.html

Overheard by: You mean a squid?

Dan Quayle: It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.