Mark Wahlberg: When my daughter is 10 and 11, and especially in the teenage years, I want to be there with a gun. It’s not mess-around time.

–http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/r_m/index.html

Quentin Tarantino: I’ve always had a thought maybe that I might have been Shakespeare in another life. I don’t really believe that 100%, and I don’t really care about Shakespeare, I’ve never been into Shakespeare, but then people are constantly bringing up all of these qualities in my work that mirror Shakespearean tragedies and moments and themes.

–GQ

Female audience member: Mr. Colbert, have you been fucking Matt Damon?
Stephen Colbert: Why? Did his dick taste like me?

–Studio, The Colbert Report

Overheard by: Cynthia

Cameron Diaz: I’ve been noticing gravity since I was very young.