Female audience member: Mr. Colbert, have you been fucking Matt Damon?
Stephen Colbert: Why? Did his dick taste like me?

–Studio, The Colbert Report

Overheard by: Cynthia

Cameron Diaz: I’ve been noticing gravity since I was very young.

Drew Barrymore: I wish I was an octopus so I could hug ten people at a time!

–http://thinkexist.com/quotation/oh-i_love_hugging-i_wish_i_was_an_octopus-so_i/203717.html

Overheard by: You mean a squid?

Dan Quayle: It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

Pamela Anderson: I want an explosive love affair again.

–http://showbiz.sky.com/showbiz/article/0,,50001-1254993,00.html

Interviewer: Why did you choose to star in the soft porn cult classic Caligula, in which you danced in a cone bra?
Helen Mirren: It was an irresistible mix of art and genitals.

–http://www.aarpmagazine.org/entertainment/helen_mirren.html

P. Diddy on formal rival Snoop Dogg: We ain’t no gangsters. We are men first.

–http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2007/03/10/2007-03-10_diddy_snoop_bury_the_tec9-1.html

Britney Spears: I performed at Mom and Dad’s party when I was four. Oh my gosh, I was singing a Madonna song, and I peed myself.

Overheard by: licketysplit

Sanjaya Malakar, on why he was voted off American Idol: Honestly, I’m not a country singer.

–http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1557614/20070419/id_0.jhtml

Overheard by: e

Victoria Beckham: I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion. He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!

–www.perezhilton.com

Overheard by: Melissa