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Paris Hilton: I want kids next year, so I’ve got to get my body ready.

–OK Weekly

Anna Kournikova: I’m like an expensive menu — you can look but you can’t afford!

Overheard by: i <3 colbert!

Keith Richards: The strangest thing I’ve tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn’t resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn’t have cared.

–perezhilton.com

Overheard by: tatiana

Beyoncé Knowles: I’d done a couple of sitcoms earlier on, but I wasn’t very good in them, so I thought that meant I couldn’t act.

Overheard by: Tami

Dan Quayle: It isn’t pollution that is hurting the environment, it’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.

Courtney Love: I don’t need plastic in my body to validate me as a woman.

Overheard by: Gabriel

Paris Hilton: What’s Wal-Mart? Do they sell, like, wall stuff?

–vh1.com

Shirley MacLaine, on UFOs: They’re all over the place in New Mexico. They’re there. It’s not a question of are they or not. The question is why. I’ve talked to people all over the world who’ve been aboard the craft and told me what they learned.

Overheard by: diva cuppin’

Goldie Hawn: Comedy is funny.

–Paul O’Grady Show, UK

Lindsay Lohan: I need a boyfriend, geez. There are three different boys I like. Maybe five.

–GQ magazine