Janet Jackson: You don’t know how many people come up to me and say, ‘This child was conceived listening to you.’


Kid Rock: Getting married is the most fun you can have in life. Being married sucks.


Overheard by: baroness

Victoria Beckham: I’m proud I still have a really good sex life with David. He is very much in proportion. He does have a huge one, though. He does. You can see it in the advert. It is all his. It is like a tractor exhaust pipe!


Overheard by: Melissa

Britney Spears, about how often she can see her children: Stuff like that — my lawyers know all that stuff.

Overheard by: Hermes!

Olivier Martinez: I have a natural feeling for wolves.


Paris Hilton, on Nicole Richie: I know she’s going to be the best mom ever.

Overheard by: hokay

Mariah Carey, asked how many bathrooms are in her home: I don’t know! Do you really want me to try and think about it?

Overheard by: jenner

Britney Spears: You know how people say *NSYNC copied Backstreet? Well, Backstreet copied the Beatles.

Richard Schiff to fellow passenger after tickling his daughter: Watch out, or I’ll tickle you, too!

–Manhattan‐bound D train from Yankee Stadium
New York, New York

Overheard by: West Wing fans

David Hasselhoff on high heels: I can’t wear anything higher than two inches or I fall over. I now know why women trip or flop occasionally. In these stupid high heels I actually look like Dennis Rodman on acid.